^1000 I had only had one or two drinks
and started feeling very light,
as if I was high on something.
The feeling became more intense
and I wasn’t able to really focus
on anything or even coordinate
my movements very well.
When I tried to go up the stairs
to the restroom everything was
spinning and I had to crawl
up the stairs.

^200 I knew something was really not right.
I eventually went home with my partner,
but only the next morning realised
that I had probably been roofied.
It was a very weird and bad experience.

^2000 We met a rather famous Dutch techno
producer in Berlin.
He got us all drinks the whole time.
A little while later I wasn’t feeling great
so me and my boyfriend went home.
On the way I experienced a lot of things,
like I was in a tube, but I also noticed
every little thing around me,
leaves crackling, a squirrel running,
cars, cyclists, all at once.

^200 Once we got home I started chewing
a lot and was very dizzy.
I never experienced anything like this.
The guy that got us drinks was on drugs
and I told him I had never done it,
and he said I should definitely try sometime,
so I think he might have made
that decision for me.

^200 I wasn’t too shocked because
I got home safely.
I always learned to cover my drink,
but now I also won’t ever accept drinks
from strangers again.

^2000 I was in a bar to watch my friend’s band play.
I had about 4 beers and remember
them announcing the final song.
The next thing I remember is waking up.
Fortunately, I had the right people around me
who did not lose sight of me and who took me home.
My mom found me in the toilet
hours after I had come home.
She said I was unable to speak full sentences
and brought me to bed.

^200 The next morning we contacted a doctor
because this couldn’t have been the result
of a few beers. The drug was no longer active
and I spent the day contacting people
to trace the sequence of events of that night.
In a way, it’s good that I don’t remember
anything of that night, because that way
it was not really a traumatic experience for me.
My mom needed some more time
to process what had happened.

^2000 I was at a party back home in Germany.
I blacked out and woke up in an ambulance.
Apparently I lost consciousness in the bathroom.
I don’t remember that.
I do remember that I didn’t have that many drinks,
it was pretty early on during the party.
I also never blacked out before or after.
I know the year before a girl got roofied
at the same party and died
of a pre-existing heart condition.

^200 I don’t know for sure if I got roofied
because I left the ambulance in a hurry,
out of shame.
My friends acted like I’d just had
too much to drink and I didn’t want
to think about it anymore,
so I pushed it away, and still do.
It’s like it never happened.
I tell the story but it’s like this wasn’t me.

^2000 We left the bar after a few drinks,
and from that moment on I can’t
remember a single thing, not even a vague flash.
I did have a few drinks, but not enough
to be so drunk to not remember anything anymore.
I asked my friends and they confirmed
that I wasn’t that drunk that I would
have forgotten the whole evening.

^2000 I noticed that a man was trying
to put a pill in my drink and that
of a friend, but I was 18 at the time,
so other than pushing him away,
or warning my friends, or leaving the bar,
I was afraid to contact anyone.
I was also second-guessing myself initially,
because it seemed so ‘unlikely’ to me
that something like that would happen.

^2000 It was a Tinder date.
I came over to a guy’s house,
started drinking. He was pouring the alcohol
in the kitchen so I didn’t exactly see.
I noticed the alcohol hit me way
more than usual and I was feeling quite weird.
The next day I had a horrible headache.
It definitely made me more cautious.

^2000 I started vomiting, had a really
salty taste in my mouth and passed out.
My friends thought I was really drunk
and got me home.
I slept until 4 pm and woke up
not remembering a thing and had
really sore muscles.
I only had 2 beers so I definitely
wasn’t drunk.

^200 I was a little anxious to go out again
and built it up in steps.
Going out without drinking,
only drinking before going out,
only drinking what I saw being poured in, etc.

^2000 Someone I know offered me a drink
and I accepted.
It was the worst night of my life
and the first ever night out in the city
since I moved.
It damaged me mentally for a very long time,
I think about it everyday.
It really fucked me up.
I go out very seldom.